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Saturday, September 30, 2006

Who are ya?


"Despite representing England frequently at Under-21 level, he has yet to make the transition to the full team due to frequent unexplainable lapses in concentration whilst playing"

"Often in incredibly bad positions that simply cannot be explained"

"He was at the heart of everything Everton did well in the 1-1 draw with Newcastle. The Magpies defender let his man go on multiple occasions, failed to make key tackles, could have concede a penalty, stood and watched as Tim Cahill headed Everton's goal at the back post and then got sent-off......this is Team Of The Weak isn't it?"

"He always manages to make a crucial mistake at a time when any other team would beable to deal with the attack"

"His absence is a blessing in one regard in that he's always likely to make a mistake that costs a goal."

And who might those quotes be referring to? The malarchy that is Titus Malachi Bramble.

What has Titus got? The answer: Everything. He can tackle, he has pace, he has height, he is strong and is a menace in the opposition penalty area. Unfortunately he is a menace in his own penalty area too. Whenever Newcastle concede a goal the question is always "Where was Titus Bramble?"

His positioning is appalling at least half the time and judging by his body language and facial expressions, at 26, Titus Bramble is never going to be a dominant centre-half. Craig Moore must dread playing with the guy, he always, without fail, makes some sort of awful error which that I hold my breath and pray whenever he is on the ball or the ball is travelling towards him.

I know it isn't good that I'm taking this attitude about our own player and believe me I'd be delighted for the lad if he got his concentration sorted out. But right now he is not good enough and should be in the team never. He is coming to the end of his contract and although I'd wish him all the best and follow his progress, I would be pleased if he left.

It seems that his lack of concentration is an unrepairable fault. When I play football, albeit at a much, much, much, much lesser level, no matter what is going on outside of the game, all I am thinking about for the whole game is football. I might make some mistakes, but concentration is not a problem for me. In such a high pressure environment, getting it right can be the only thing on your mind.

Based on ability, he could be the first name of the team-sheet, but based on personality and concentration he shouldn't even look at the team-sheet.

Something must be done.

Friday, September 29, 2006

Justice is done

The way it should be.

A well earned congratulations to Scott Parker who has finally got his England call up. I'm pretty sure he should be chosen over Carrick or Jenas every single time but our man is replacing the similar in style Owen Hargreaves, who I believe overall Parker is better than, though perhaps not as versatile. One thing has been clear since Big Mac took over, our new England boss knows what hes doing and hopefully this is the first in a long line of a call ups for our inspirational captain fantastic. In my opinion, he can do no wrong.
Scotty Parker now plays for the two best football teams on the planet, Newcastle & England.

Thursday, September 28, 2006

Through and through

Thats better, we scored some. Obafemi Martins with two great goals demonstrating his ability to head, shoot and somersault. Despite some people claiming otherwise its quite a common occurence these days that we score after a corner. Emre the usual provider. Emre was unlucky not to get man of the match tonight, but new boy Martins deserves some credit for his very neat double.

On nights like this I remember why I spend hours of my life arguing that Newcastle aren't sh*t. We played pretty well, especially the second half and Harper again responsible for a goal conceded despite being solid for the rest of the game.

If Martins scores three goals per month until the end of the season he will have 24 goals, we will see!

Titus Bramble wasn't really troubled tonight but still managed one mistake in his otherwise solid display. Steven Taylor slipped at an unlucky time but was otherwise fantastic and Stephen Carr continued his very good play. Peter Ramage proved that he is not left-back, and that is our biggest worry for Sunday. Thanks very much Babayaro.

NUFC Jam points update


The top three are shown to the right, but here is the full leaderboard:

  1. Scott Parker [24]
  2. Emre [23]
  3. Shola Ameobi [19]
  4. Damien Duff [17]
  5. Obafemi Martins [14]

Wednesday, September 27, 2006

Knackered


NUFC Jam is still here and there will be an increase in posts over the next few days.

I have been doing research into the injury sustained by Michael Owen and I have once again been frustrated by our, well, frustrating near misses. I am also planning a scathing attack on Titus Bramble and Celestine Babayaro.

I won't be predicting our team for tomorrow because Glenn is making some changes, finally Wor Steven Taylor will get a start.

Sunday, September 24, 2006

Home time


This is the team I'd like to see take on Everton. So after campaigning for James Milner to start, I've dropped him. The reason for this is tactical and not because I don't like James Milner (he's a cracking player). N'Zogbia tore Everton apart in this fixture last season and Duff looks equally effective down both flanks, so Milner will have to be content with a late entry. In my opinion Duff, along with Ameobi should be rested for the Tallinn game in midweek to keep them fresh for Manchester United next weekend. N'Zogbia also provides better cover for Peter Ramage than Damien Duff, who isn't a fan of going back. Duff and N'Zogbia also provide more of a goal threat to Milner, who despite playing very well looks out of place in the team whenever he shoots (except that incredible freekick against Ventspils). With the threat of Johnson, Steven Taylor should definitely play and Titus Bramble should not.

My preferred substitutes bench could not really avoid both Sibierski and Bramble, so I've chosen to avoid Sibierski, although I suspect he will be included.


Saturday, September 23, 2006

The Relegation Issue


I'm not a pessimist, I am a true fan and I don't think we will be relegated. But Glenn Roeder is on a hatrick when it comes to getting his club relegated after finishing 7th the season before, so it must be addressed. It keeps bugging me inside that a shock relegation could be exactly what this club needs to sort itself out.

What would become of our squad?

Players that could stay (including signing new contracts if necessary)

Shay Given
Stephen Carr
Nolberto Solano
Damien Duff
Steve Harper
Charles N'Zogbia
Craig Moore
Titus Bramble
Antoine Sibierski
Shola Ameobi
Peter Ramage
Steven Taylor
Olivier Bernard
Matty Pattison
Alan O'Brien

You may think some of those will definitely go, such as Given, Duff, N'Zogbia or even Carr but I think we'd have a reasonable chance of keeping them. Shay just signed a new 5 year contract, but whether it included a relegation clause I don't know. The situation is the same with Duff. Whether they'd feel obliged to help the club back up, even if they agreed only to stay for another season, I'm unsure. Playing in the Championship is unlikely to affect their Ireland international careers. N'Zogbia would be subject to a lot of interest much like Curtis Davies of West Brom, who stayed, so maybe as he's only young he would stay.

Players I'm unsure about:

Kieron Dyer - Who would buy him? Especially if his injury problems continue.
Michael Owen - How fit would he be? He might stay on until Christmas.
Scott Parker - Our brilliant Captain genuinely could stay.

Players who would run for the door quicker than you could say 'Oops':

Emre - Back on the plane to Italy.
Albert Luque - Back on the plane to Spain.
Obafemi Martins - Off to another Premiership club.
James Milner - Would go to Aston Villa.
Nicky Butt - Would probably go to a newly promoted Premiership side.

Who could we sign?

  • Michael Chopra would surely want to come back if we went for him.
  • David Nugent would be a useful signing if Preston don't get promoted.
  • Andy O'Brien might leave Portsmouth to join his Irish mates.
  • Liam Lawrence might be bored in S*nderland.
  • Charlie Mulgrew is a bright prospect.
  • Wes Morgan is a new star in the making.
  • James Coppinger is too good for his current club.
  • Robert Earnshaw is a decent striker.
  • Jason Shackell could add some depth in defence.
  • Gareth Bale is surely a future star.
There's just some ideas.

Hopefully a take over or a change in board will happen if we are relegated but that can't be guaranteed.

Glenn Roeder would surely be sacked and a manager with a history of changing things employed. Alan Curbishley, Bryan Robson or even the boring David O'Leary could give it a try.

Please note, we will not be relegated. But would it help us out in the long run?

However: (I apologise for the massive blank space below I can't avoid it, please continue to scroll down)

Would we be likely to come straight back up?








































































































































































Club Last Premiership season Re-promoted? Where are they now?
Barnsley 1997-8 No Championship
Birmingham 2005-6 - Championship
Blackburn 2005-6 Yes Premiership
Bolton 2005-6 No Premiership
Bradford 2000-1 No League One
Charlton 2005-6 No Premiership
Coventry 2000-1 No Championship
Crystal Palace 2004-5 No Championship
Derby County 2001-2 No Championship
Ipswich Town 2001-2 No Championship
Leeds 2003-4 No Championship
Leicester 2003-4 No Championship
Manchester City 2005-6 Yes Premiership
Middlesbrough 2005-6 Yes Premiership
Norwich 2004-5 No Championship
Nott'm Forest 1998-9 No League One
Oldham 1993-4 No League One
QPR 1995-6 No Championship
Sheffield Wed 1999-2000 No Championship
Southampton 2004-5 No Championship
Sunderland 2005-6 - Championship
Swindon 1993-4 No League Two
Watford 2000-1 No Premiership
West Brom 2005-6 - Championship
Wimbledon 1999-2000 No League Two
Wolves 2003-4 No Championship


This table shows every club that has been relegated from the Premiership and their last season in the Premiership and whether they acheived re-promotion the season immediately after being relegated. Only three clubs have ever managed it; Blackburn, Man City and Middlesbrough who are still there today. Birmingham, West Brom and S*nderland were relegated last season therefore their re-promotion is marked not applicable yet.

Relegation for thought.

Wednesday, September 20, 2006

Picture this, again

Alonso scores from own half, only this time the 'keeper was actually there.

Kuyt scores his first goal for Liverpool.

2-0.

Beaten by the better team.

Confusing times.

Here we go



I think (worringly) this is how we can expect our side to line up at Anfield tonight. With Shola facing a late fitness test and Rossi short on, well, height, Siberiski is probably looking forward to putting his head upfront for his. Nowt startling has happen at his feet yet. Milner looks set to keep the shirt after a very good performance against West Ham on Sunday. There isn't any choice in defence. Personally I'd stick Rossi (who can apparently jump to the same height as Peter Crouch) and use Sibierski as a late sub, we'll see what happens, Ameobi may yet make it.



Steve Harper will be between the sticks which isn't reallythat concerning. I would imagine he'll be keen to make an impression.

Kieron Dyer is now back in full training, and he truly challenges Emre for that position after playing very well there last season. He is due back in the side over the next few weeks.

My prediction is some good away team play, but an easy victory for the home side.

Tuesday, September 19, 2006

Geordies of the week

First of all thanks to IMB Roy Keane for his choice of tie on Sunday as he muttered some irish-mackem on Sky Sports that noone really understood or wanted to. The muppet clearly has a lot to learn, I wonder what the mackems themselves had to say?

Well here is an example of a message board thread on Sunday evening*:

"What a f**kin prat what's he wearing that tie for, sack him"

"You're the prat, its just a tie"

"F**kin Geordie tie" "Idiot he's got to get his act together"

A mixed reaction down at the local zoo, but it seems even after winning three games in a row, Keano still has a lot to do.


Ramage sticks his fingers up

Back to the good part of the North East, next up is Peter Ramage. He explained that keeping a clean sheet is like "sticking two fingers up" at your critics in a what I thought was a well taken and slightly passionate interview.

This was the expression Steve Harper wore for a whole interview. He explained how he didn't really want to be replacing Shay under these circumstances and genuinely found it hard to admit he 'must be delighted' about getting a run in the team. He was very honest however as listed injuries he felt comfortable Shay Given getting:

"Maybe a bent back finger or a rock to the ankle, but not this"

I agree to a certain extent because I'll be happy to see Steve get a run out. It will probably be a busy night at Anfield on Wednesday.

Finally Glenn Roeder (although not technically a Geordie) deserves a mention for being the worst liar I can remember. As he chewed gum and lean't against the wall with a massive a grin on his face, he gave a drunken sounding interview in which he tried to tell everyone it would have just as special if it was any win. Yeh right!

"Maybe its a little bit special, but any win away from home is special, but yes very special"

"You know it was a great performance, I won't single anyone out"

"But Craig Moore and Stevey Carr were fantastic, Peter Ramage, Babayaro, the whole back four - I said I wasn't going to single anyone out
(drunken laugh) but Jamesy Milner, Duffer, Scotty, Emre, Shola - Shola always shows the desire to be there, we're all delighted that Oba has his first goal."

That's everyone then...

The Geordies of the week are in no particular order.

* I did my best to translate the jibberish I was faced with

Monday, September 18, 2006

Get well soon Shay

Six weeks out for Given after a bad challenge by Marlon Harewood. Purely accidental my arm, how you can say he went for the ball when our goalkeeper has a whole in his stomach is beyond me. He went in studs up and was sliding as Given caught the ball. The fact that it should have been a straight red is irrelevant, Harewood is well known for having a bad temper and this ref failed to take this into account. I wouldn't be so annoyed if people accepted it was less accidental than it first appeared. I'm not saying he wanted to hurt Given, but his version of chasing lost causes is a bit extreme and he should have been punished.


Marlon Harewood's boot is the blue Nike one. No, I can't see the ball either.

I'd also like to congratulate MOTD on getting a 0 out of 10 from me for their coverage and analysis of our game Sunday, it was absolutely pathetic.

Sunday, September 17, 2006

Bubbles blown away

West Ham 0-2 Newcastle

Obafemi Martins and Damien Duff off the mark in a game we deserved to win, and did win. Ladies and Gentleman, Newcastle United.

A good performance, with some nice one touch football it was blast back into the old Roeder days. Whether we can keep it up remains to be seen. But we're all on a high until Wednesday, when we face the trickier trip to Anfield although it could be argued this is the best time to play out of form Liverpool. I'm going to avoid the score by going to my nearby Doncaster to watch them against Derby, well away from any way of finding out the score.

I haven't watched MOTD or the extended highlights of the game yet, so there is more joy to come from me yet.

Sunday roast

A truly daunting test awaits us. As we leave behind the three games we expected to win and enter the ones we'd forgive ourselves for losing, there isn't much light in the tunnel, never mind at the end of it. It is very important to get a win at West Ham today. Losing at Upton Park and then presumably at Anfield will mean four straight league defeats running into our tricky home tie with Everton and then a nice easy trip to Old Trafford...erm...

By the time the lads get home from Manchester in a couple of weeks time there will have been 21 points up for grabs, how many can we expect to have by then? I don't like all this doom and gloom, but patience will be the key this season. Again.

My XI today is a simple one.

---------------Given--------------
-Carr---Moore---Taylor---Ramage-
Milner----Parker--N'Zogbia----Duff
---------Rossi-----Martins----------

Bench: Harper, Bernard, Emre, Butt, Ameobi

I have dropped Emre to the bench because N'Zogbia is more of a goal threat. Emre insists on taking freekicks but they are usually poor. This my preferred eleven but I expect Roeder to put N'Zogbia on the left and Duff on the right, with Emre and Parker in the middle. Rossi could be very useful today, he should ensure we keep the ball on the deck and provide some nifty through balls for Martins.

Will we be hammered? Or will we make Pork and chips of them? Nobody knows but the Hammers will be pretty confident.

Saturday, September 16, 2006

Rumbled


Undercover: Football's Dirty Secrets
BBC1 England
9:00 pm Tuesday Sep 19th

The Panorama team reveal the dark side of the beautiful game, spending a year undercover to disclose the extraordinary dealings taking place in the nation's favourite and wealthiest sport. On the eve of the official Lord Stevens inquiry report into alleged transfer irregularities, the secret-camera investigation names top agents, clubs and managers who have something to hide.


Yep, us included.

Friday, September 15, 2006

Caught read handed


The Guardian on Wednesday:

Last week I revealed that Newcastle United had been found by a VAT and Duties tribunal to have systematically lied to the Football Association about the club's transfer dealings between 2001 and 2003. The tribunal also ruled that some of British football's top agents made false statements to the FA when registering transfers.

This week, I can name those agents. They include First Artist, run by brothers Jon and Paul Smith; Paul Stretford's Proactive agency; SFX, which represents Alan Shearer; Jonathan Barnett's agency Stellar, which acts for Kieron Dyer and Titus Bramble, and Key Sports, which represents Shola Ameobi.

On the official forms, G2 and H1, which clubs are required to lodge with the FA to register new signings or new contracts, Newcastle and the agents stated that the agents had acted solely for the club when in fact they were the players' agents. Newcastle did this to avoid being seen by the FA to have breached one of football's main rules governing agents' conduct, that agents are allowed to act for only one party in a deal. The rules were established by the world governing body, Fifa, to avoid conflicts of interest and to try to ensure fair dealing and it is the FA's responsibility here to uphold them.

The tribunal judgment could hardly have been more emphatic. It said the agents were: "In breach of [the Fifa] regulations, having failed to adhere to [the agents'] Code of Professional Conduct, by behaving untruthfully."

The tribunal ruled that 21 of 24 player deals were carried out in the same way. The club approached the player's agent, asked him to persuade the player to sign for a financial package which suited the club, then paid the agent according to how close he came. The player, signed up to be represented exclusively by his agent, did not know that the agent had come to such an arrangement privately with the club.

Newcastle took the view that having conducted deals in that way, the agents were acting for both the club and the player, even though this was a breach of the Fifa rule. However, to avoid the FA being alerted to this breach, Newcastle and the agents made false declarations on the official forms to the FA, claiming that the agents had acted solely for the club, and not for the player.

The tribunal explained how this worked in each deal, giving substantial details about one transfer, of a player who went to St James' Park in 2001. The players' identities were not given in the judgment but the agents were named. In that transfer, Newcastle paid £35,250 to First Artist, for, the club said, "acting for and on behalf of" the club.

The G2 form, to register the transfer with the FA, signed by the club and the agent, stated that Jon Smith, of First Artist, had acted for Newcastle United in the deal. There is another part to the form which an agent signs if he acted for the player. That was left blank.
Newcastle also made a "Declaration" stating that First Artist had acted as the club's agent and was being paid under a written agreement, another Fifa requirement. The tribunal said: "We find [that agreement] to be non-existent."

Following new contract negotiations for the same player, Newcastle paid First Artist a further £32,250. Another Form G2 was lodged with the FA, stating that Phil Smith had acted this time, again for Newcastle United. The part which would have been filled in had First Artist admitted acting for the player was again left blank.

A declaration was made to the FA, identifying First Artist as the club's agent under a written agreement, which again the tribunal found to be "non-existent".

Newcastle argued that the agents were acting directly for both the club and the players, and so wanted to reclaim the VAT on the fees paid to the agents. Russell Cushing, Newcastle's chief operating officer, argued in court that the Fifa rules are routinely ignored and "do not reflect the global business we are now operating in".

The tax authorities undertook an investigation into how the deals were done, as they have at several other clubs. They wrote to First Artist asking about the player transfer, in which all the official forms had stated that the agents acted for the club. On April 18 2006, First Artist replied to the authorities: "Please note First Artist Corporation were acting on behalf of the player."

Other deals done in the same way and involving what the tribunal found to be false statements on FA documentation included six deals by Stellar, the negotiation of a new player's contract by Key Sports and the signing of two players represented by Proactive, for which the agency was paid £200,000 and £300,000.

SFX, one of the game's most high-profile agencies, acted in three transfers. In two, the tribunal found the forms were falsely completed to state that SFX acted for the club alone, not the players, who were the agency's clients. In the third the declaration lodged with the FA said Newcastle had agreed to pay Tony Stephens, a senior SFX agent, £160,000 "in accordance with the written agreement" between him and the club. The tribunal found there was no such written agreement.

Of all these agencies I contacted, none would comment except Jon Smith of First Artist. He would not talk directly about this case, but said that in general, First Artist tries to abide by football's rules. "However, the rules do not always work," he argued. "Very often we do act for the player and the club quite legitimately, yet the rules say we can't and they are unworkable."

Cushing admitted in his evidence that the forms lodged with the FA were "technically incorrect", and even that the club did this to avoid the FA seeing that its rules were being broken. Newcastle's argument is that the regulations against agents acting for both sides, and the official paperwork, do not reflect the reality that agents do act for player and club simultaneously in this way.

In a statement last week, Newcastle insisted that in all these deals they had "engaged the services of the agents" and the forms to the FA were filled in "accordingly".

The club are adamant they intend to appeal the tribunal's decision that the agents in law acted solely for the players and that Newcastle's £550,000 VAT payments cannot be reclaimed.

The FA is responsible for upholding football's regulations, yet the governing body is still reluctant to comment because Newcastle are planning to appeal. This despite the fact that Newcastle freely offered the evidence that they routinely broke the Fifa rule and made false statements to the FA itself.

An FA spokesman said: "We will wait until the matter is concluded before looking into any possible breach of the rules."

Uh oh.

Thursday, September 14, 2006

Tallinnsman

Sod's Law n : humorous axiom stating that anything that can go wrong will go wrong.

What went wrong? Sibierski scored on his debut. I said he wouldn't score, I said he was a very poor signing. New boy Antoine played alright and will be heureux comme Larry after getting himself on the score sheet just ten minutes into his United debut. Sibierski is obviously good in the air, but the rest of his play is a bit rubbish to be honest. He continually gave the ball away with poor one touch passing and only once or twice did something impressive with his feet. Martins showed incredible pace tonight and had a couple of decent efforts, one producing a good save from the Estonian second choice international goalkeeper (can't remember his name). It was a satisfying victory and a comfortable one at that, with Levadia's best and only clear chance being wasted by the captain Jimmy Bullard lookalike. Parker was magnificent, Emre's passing in open play was stunning and Milner did well. Most impressive was our three-man back four (helped out by Duff at left-back during opposition attacks) who snuffed out everything limiting the Estonians to long range strikes which were all poor. We do need to put more chances away, but that should come in time.

I like to think that Spurs have Newcastle to thank for their victory, Jenas getting their only goal and a fine strike at that.

We looked much less precarious when Bramble left the field, Ramage, Moore and Carr did a fine job at the back. Take note, we defended well. I might not beable to say that again for a while.

Wednesday, September 13, 2006

Positively ashamed

Due to the laws of time difference I am, thanks to unavoidable commitments going to miss our game's TV coverage tomorrow. I am ashamed. I will of course be recording it so I can run rule over the performances of our new signings in order to satisfy anyone who lives, works, or spends time with constantly negative fans . I will fill you with my super positive thoughts.

I leave you with...we're gonna win ten-nil, we're gonna win ten-nil...

"Don't wanna be beat by some Estonian little club" - Green Day

Tuesday, September 12, 2006

Tallinted

A game where a performance is expected. According to Roeder Tallinn are slightly better than Ventspils, so hopefully our performance will be better too.

We have finally broken our 06/07 tradition of playing as well as the opposition and narrowly winning or drawing, only to lose twice in a row. We have played reasonably well in both games but failed to score enough or defend well.

I've had a new idea for the team, here is the players I'd like to see line up on Thursday night:

---------------Given--------------
Carr---Moore---Bramble---Ramage
--------Parker------Emre---------
--------------N'Zogbia--------------
-----Milner---------------Duff------
--------------Martins--------------

Just as a bit of an experiment. When Martins starts scoring this formation will be pretty credible. Shola has done nothing wrong, but we can't include him because of that. If Milner, Duff and Martins are all upfront when we are on the ball, thats real pace. Emre isn't a defensive midfielder but his hard working nature makes him a good presence alongside Scott Parker infront of the dodgy Titus (who wouldn't start in my opinion).

(Wednesday: Roeder confirmed Titus would be starting)

Monday, September 11, 2006

Can't defend, won't defend.

All hell is breaking loose at Newcastle United! Not only has Shay Given told of problems behind close doors, but Stephen Harper has dramatically signed a new two year deal to keep him at the club until 2009.

All good news, but its not quite as interesting as all that. The problem being the defence, which is being sorted out behind closed doors according to Shay. Lets just hope we don't get too cocky over in Tallinn and end up being sawn apart by Argentina at Upton Park on Sunday, I'm pretty sure they won't cry for us.

Winning at West Ham (perhaps a laughable thought after Saturday) would make me use a very loud yet positive set of expletives that resemble how I would imagine a cup triumph. That's how desperate I am.

Is Relegation on the cards? Yes, but those cards are at the bottom of the pile. We are on the up.

Sunday, September 10, 2006

Captain Fantastic


Yesterday's stunning defeat to Fulham did little for us but show that Scott Parker is one heck of a captain. Scott Parker ran the show for us yesterday and his substitution collapsed our midfield and allowed the Fulham midfield out the blocks and exposed our defence that is on the brink of complete meltdown. Our captain took a heavy knock below the knee and was unable to carry on for the last 10 minutes. Whilst Nicky Butt was OK, Fulham seized the opportunity to impress before Butt did and within two minutes of Scotty's standing ovation when leaving the field Fulham had an unlikely equaliser thanks to our stationary defence who left Routledge to wrong foot Ramage and whip in a cross (which wasn't that good) which somehow found its way THROUGH EVERYONE to the foot of Brian McBride. The second goal was even more of a mess. Titus Bramble left McBride (the best header in the Fulham team) to nod the ball against the crossbar where it bounced off Bocenegra on the line to shock the home crowd and indeed the visiting support. We weren't singing anymore.

Fulham did nothing for the whole game and we continually probed without making too many clear cut chances. Obafemi, Shola and Rossi were all quiet whilst Milner was mysteriously left out in favour of Sibierski. If he isn't injured, I am very angry.

Thanks to Match of the Day who showed our game at the appropriate time this week and provided adequate analysis, long may it last!

Saturday, September 09, 2006

Unreal

Newcastle 1-2 Fulham

The End.

Muddle, puddle, toil and trouble

It seems we are one of a number of clubs under investigation for giving too much money to agents and claiming the VAT back illegally. I doubt we have done anything wrong, surely Freddy is not that stupid. I don't actually fully understand what is going on but nothing big has been made of it yet. I think Glenn would be ever so slightly peed off if we got a points deduction, as has been suggested. We have strongly denied it like any club would.

Fulham (h)

This game should be the easiest of our season but it never ever is. Fulham have won just once at SJP in the Premiership but that was a freakish 1-4 battering and they drew here last season when Owen made his debut thanks to a late Charles N'Zogbia beauty of a freekick. Our now-Captain Scott Parker was sent off that day just as we had the chance to win it. Our squad for this game is arguably a lot stronger bar the Owen disaster at the World Cup. Only Bernard, Owen and Dyer aren't available, the first and last there looking to build up match fitness over the next few weeks. Shola and Taylor face late fitness tests after the latter picked up a bruised foot on international duty. We have quite a few options upfront today especially if Shola is fit, but hopefully Sibierski has not done enough in training to convince Glenn to give him a place on the bench or even worse the starting line up, I think we need a win under our belts and a few whisky's before fielding the frenchman. The word is that Sibierski was good in training at Man City but then crap in a match. Apparently Rossi can jump to match the head of Peter Crouch, how they have measured this I don't know, but if Shola isn't available I think Wor Loan Pepe should get his debut having been "breathtaking" in training according to the big GR.

If I was manager today:

---Given---
---Carr---Taylor---Moore---Ramage---
----Milner---Parker---Emre---Duff----
-------Martins---Ameobi-------

Bench: Harper - Bramble - N'Zogbia - Butt - Rossi

If Shola and Taylor are absent then Bramble goes into the centre of defence and Rossi goes upfront. Babayaro rises to the bench and Luque or Sibierski follow suit. Shola, though, could be fit enough for the subs list.

The best thing that could happen today is that we emerge rampant and win 6-0. The worst is that we lose three strikers to long term injury. One of those is more likely, and it ain't the first one.

Four months to go

Due to my strange obsession with listing things to do with Newcastle United I felt compelled to write down the squad list that is ours until January.

  1. Shay GIVEN
  2. Stephen CARR
  3. nobody
  4. Nolberto SOLANO
  5. EMRE Belozoglu
  6. nobody
  7. Albert LUQUE
  8. Kieron DYER
  9. Obafemi MARTINS
  10. Micheal OWEN
  11. Damien DUFF
  12. Stephen HARPER
  13. nobody
  14. Charles N'ZOGBIA
  15. Giuseppe ROSSI
  16. James MILNER
  17. Scott PARKER
  18. Craig MOORE
  19. Titus BRAMBLE
  20. Antoine SIBIERSKI
  21. Lee CLARK
  22. Nicky BUTT
  23. Shola AMEOBI
  24. nobody
  25. nobody
  26. Peter RAMAGE
  27. Steven TAYLOR
  28. nobody
  29. nobody
  30. nobody
  31. nobody
  32. Paul HUNTINGTON
  33. Celestine BABAYARO
  34. Olivier BERNARD
  35. Matty PATTISON
  36. Kris GATE
  37. Alan O'BRIEN
  38. nobody
  39. nobody
  40. Tim KRUL

Wednesday, September 06, 2006

U21 stars of the Toon

Giuseppe Rossi arrived on Tyneside this morning after playing his part in a 1-0 win for Italy U21 yesterday night. While the messed about James Milner grabbed a dramatic last-two minute winner for England U21, that's our lad!

It seems Martins and Shola are fit for Saturday against Fulham, who along with new signing's Rossi and Sibierski (not forgetting misfit Luque) create some actual have some depth in attack.

Good news on Owen as he begins his recovery after a successful knee operation in the US of A. Our other casualty Kieron Dyer is due back in 2-3 weeks. So things are looking up. As if they were ever looking down?

Tuesday, September 05, 2006

The 8th goal

Whilst watching a video of Emre's goal against Birmingham last season I noticed that the ball may have been deflected off Michael Owen taking it past Maik Taylor. Above is a picture of the ball apparently about to hit Owen, you can decide for yourself. In the picture the ball appears to be heading towards the diving Maik Taylor with only Owen left to hit, and the ball ends up deflecting away for Taylor after this point. It doesn't really matter because any goal is a goal, but its kept me amused over the last day. At first it seems Owen has claimed the goal before accepting that Emre will get it (see below). But is he celebrating his own goal, or Emre's?




Monday, September 04, 2006

Numbers up

Despite Bernard being given the number three by the official website and Evening Chronicle, he's actually been given number 34. Wor Antoine Sibierski has been given the cursed number 20 shirt (more to follow).

Bernard played 45 minutes for the reserves tonight in a 4-3 win of Benfield Plastics. Ramage and Pattison scored two of the goals, as well ex-mag Marc Walton for the Plastics.

Sunday, September 03, 2006

Time for a change?

Many people are starting to question Roeder's appointment. I think this is wrong.

If I was Roeder, I'd feel I deserved the chance to manage the team full time after my run as caretaker manager. I don't think the manager and the players (most of them) are the problem. Its just the overall running of the club.

The way the club conducts its business is a cause for concern. Is Freddy Shepherd really a positive force?

Perhaps we need a Director of Football to replace the involvement of Shepherd in the clubs transfer and football (mis)planning.

A deep analysis may not be necessary, maybe our chairman is too high profile and prone to sounding stupid to make people believe in our club. Look at Charlton, they are going nowhere fast but noone criticizes them and most of the fans are happy as larry, they are such a well-run club. Look at the situation at West Ham, if Tevez and Mascherano came to Newcastle in such circumstances, everyone would be suspicious - but they are such a well run club, with a low profile board, that everyone is simply pleased for them. Chairmen such as Bruce Buck (Chelsea), Peter Hill-Wood (Arsenal), Daniel Levy (Spurs) and Terence Brown (West Ham) are relatively unheard of and keep themselves to themselves. They don't brag about the amount of money they've spent on a particular player and they keep themselves out the public eye. They never come out and say "and once again we have signed a massive player for the fans because we are such a big club". Which it seems is all that matters to Freddy Shepherd. Where is the stability to match our (rapidly decreasing) status as a top premiership club? Maybe Freddy's problem is that he is too passionate and loves having all the big names at his club rather taking the time to see where it is really going wrong. He throws money at the club and lets the manager get on with it, leaving the manager to get all the stick when it goes wrong.

The £10million spent on Albert Luque could have gone to improving our scout situation. We are relying too much on bringing in proven players because our scouting network is so poor. Look at some of the players Spurs and Bolton bring in, they aren't stars but they all turn out good because they have been well found by their scouts. Why don't we sign players like Rob Lee and Andy Cole anymore? We need players who are hungry for success, not world class stars who have nothing to prove. Hunger for success is behind the impressive resurgence of Spurs and West Ham.

Although I do feel sorry for Roeder and the players, their progress is being hindered by things beyond their control.

Saturday, September 02, 2006

Freddy admits failure

Freddy Shepherd annouced today that there should be no transfer window and that players should be allowed to move at any time. That translates as "I didn't have time to get enough players in" - he had two months. If there was no transfer window then he would be moaning when our star player was snapped up in October stating, "There should be a system in place to stop transfers happening during the season". Pure rubbish Freddy.

Given and Carr completed 90 minutes for the Republic of Ireland against Germany, while Duff was substituted near the end, I am unsure if he was injured or not as looked away for a few moments and missed it. O'Brien came on late on and provided a couple of bursts of pace, but again proved his isn't quite ready. He is obviously highly rated by Steve Staunton however.

England continue not to miss Owen as they rattled five past a rubbish Andorra side, will he ever be the first name on the team sheet again? Crouch and Defoe both scored twice.

Our three last minute transfers are set to be unveiled this weekend, but I don't know when.

Friday, September 01, 2006

Partial redemption

We signed Olivier Bernard on a free. A left-back. Thats what we needed. However I feel we have still failed overall.

NUFC.com summed it all up to day as follows:

"The club don't just take the piss, they sell it - so why not go to Shearer's bar?"

In reference to Roeder commenting that Sibierski's strength is in the air, they commented:

"A
ye, so is Michael Owen's helicopter - and that won't bring us any goals this season either"

Exactly right.

Lets break down how we faired in the transfer window:

  • Alan Shearer replaced by Obafemi Martins
  • Lee Bowyer replaced by Damien Duff
  • Michael Chopra replaced by Giuseppe Rossi
  • Robbie Elliot replaced by Olivier Bernard
  • Amady Faye replaced by Nicky Butt (returned from loan)
  • Martin Brittain replaced by James Milner (returned from loan)
  • Daryl Smylie replaced by Antoine Sibierski
  • Tony Caig replaced by Tim Krul (from academy)
  • Jean-Alain Boumsong not replaced.



    Overall we have strengthened, Smylie and Brittain never really counted as first team players. But not directly replacing Boumsong could cost us this season.



Yes it really is true, we have signed Sibierski. He sounded as shocked as we are in his welcome interview. Photo of Bernard and Rossi soon.

Window shuts, here we go...

And so the magic window has shut. Its an end to our stress, oh wait...no. Unfortunately this window I'm unhappy to say that we have failed. We have failed. It all looked so sweet when we signed Damien Duff back in July but since then all has been quiet. Then we signed Obafemi Martins, another good signing and things looked up once again. And so on the last day, every club seemed spoilt for choice as they helped themselves to players who could have done well at Newcastle. OK so we have starlet Rossi until January when presumably we'll be making some more signings. But taking Antoine Sibierski is quite frankly useless and confusing. Pretending for a moment that Luque and Sibierski aren't crap, we have depth in attack and midfield now, but in defence is another matter. We have spectacularly failed to sign a defender despite there being endless amounts of available ones over the last two months. At this I am afraid I am very angry at Newcastle United. Now obviously its none of my business and I have no right to be angry, but we needed defenders before the previous season finished and since then we have lost two. Its going to be a long four months. I'm waiting in hope that Newcastle will confirm another deal in the next couple of hours. NUFC.com said we were trying to sign another one or two players after Sibierski, but had retracted that statement within 20 minutes.

A very good thing that happened today was the break down of talks between James Milner and Aston Villa. I was furious when I saw he was travelling to Birmingham for talks, but thankfully Newcastle had some sense and retracted their permission. Milner, for me, is now better than Solano and it is essential we keep him. Hopefully we haven't annoyed him to much over the last two seasons.

We may have a good attack, but unless we defend well and avoid more than two injuries at once in defence we will not finish in the top six. West Ham have signed Tevez and Mascherano from Corinthians which is incredible. West Ham will be finding it hard to finish outside the top five with the incredible squad they've assembled over the last two seasons. This season is about sticking together, staying fit and loving every minute, otherwise we aren't going to be in a happy position.

Here is my opinion on the players to attack the league and cups for the next four months:

Goalkeepers

Shay Given

Fantastic goalkeeper and a great bloke, we are very fortunate to have him.

Steve Harper
Very reliable keeper who puts on a good show when he gets the chance, would be our number one if Shay Given wasn't so amazing.

Tim Krul
Tipped as a future star. I haven't seen much of him, but I have heard some glowing reports and never anything bad.


Central defenders

Craig Moore
I like him, he is usually reliable and adds a cool and experienced head to our dodgy back four. He needs to stay fit this season, end of story.

Titus Bramble
Titus has all the quality in the world, but he loses his concentration too often, it needs working on if Newcastle are too succeed.

Steven Taylor
Surely a future England regular, he is already our best defender and can play across the whole back four. It'll probably turn into a bit of Jamie Carragher situation, where he is veteran and hero of his hometown club, but limited internationally.

Peter Ramage
Promising and good at football. Technically a centre-back but has performed admirably at full-back in my opinion. He has a mean cross and will have good chance to shine this season.

Full-backs

Celestine Babayaro
A very talented footballer, but has no sense of defending. He needs to find his defensive soon or he will be dropped. His effort could also be questioned.

Stephen Carr
I think he's a good defender who has recently lost his ability to cross and shoot. He will need to keep his head with his position not under threat this season, he also needs to stay fit.

Olivier Bernard
Seems glad to be back and should put all his effort into a game, unlike our other left back. His signing makes much more sense than that of Bald-one Sibierski.


Defensive midfielders


Scott Parker
Our fantastic captain is everything you want from a midfielder. It seems he's going to be playing more forward this season, but his work at the back will be essential this season.

Nicky Butt
Quality player who seems to have woken up to the fact he now plays for Newcastle, I firmly believe Glenn Roeder is responsible for that. Well done on something there Glenn.

Attacking midfielders

Emre
To me Emre is a Geordie and a cracking player at that. Carries out his defensive duties magnificently and has already scored as many goals for Newcastle as he did for Inter in less than half the appearances. Fitness is once again the key.

Charles N'Zogbia
A brilliant young talent who scores lots already. We may even need him at left-back this season. Another adopted Geordie.

Damien Duff
Has settled in nicely already, does lots of running and creates lots of chances but has yet to find his shooting boots and despite his 30 odd shots since arriving, none have tested the goalkeeper. Still a fantastic signing in my opinion.

James Milner
Our best right winger now. He is another future England player, possibly so far hindered by his slender frame. Nearly went to Villa for the second season running, but I am so glad he didn't go.

Nolberto Solano
A legend but not getting any younger. Nobby is good back up now, but Roeder still sees him as first choice. Still very good at set-pieces, but Milner's two corners to set up Butt and his freekick that almost broke the bar suggest Milner is ready to take over.

Kieron Dyer
If he can stay fit this season, Kieron will have massive roll to play, both in midfield and further forward. Kieron is like the talented Sibierski.

Antoine Sibierski
Can also play as a striker but due to the lack of goals in his career and his listing as a midfielder on the Man City website, thats what I assume we've bought him for. I am mystified at this signing, it just pushes our academy talent further down the pecking order. But still, we have him (I'm sure Glenn will explain in the morning).

Matty Pattison
Exciting prospect who will be a first team player somewhere, one day. Put on a good performance against West Brom last season.

Alan O'Brien
Very fast winger kept out the team, everyone is waiting to see how he develops over the course of his contract. In my opinion he needs to learn to use his pace. He is clearly skilled.

Forwards

Michael Owen
May not feature this season but still a squad member. Good to have around, fantastic striker.

Shola Ameobi
Scores with chances and has become an important player. I have noticed his interviews as well as his play maturing and he no longer the youngster. There shouldn't be any more problems with Shola, oh, apart from fitness.

Obafemi Martins
Great signing, hopefully fitness won't be a problem with our new number nine.

Giuseppe Rossi
Talented loan signing who I rate highly, pity he will only be better for Man U when he leaves. I just hope we don't miss him too much when he returns home.

Albert Luque
This is surely his last four months here, he just isn't very good for Newcastle.

------------------------------

Well thats everyone. A great depth to the squad, apart from in defence. Please God, let us do well.

Well weird

Newcastle have signed Antoine Sibierski on a one year contract from Manchester City. This should be an April fool's prank, has Glenn gone off his rocker?

Despite our long lingering defensive frailties, we have signed four players who never enter their own box.

In a conversation with a Man City fan just like week, I said:

"You'll be lucky to get rid of Sibierski on a free, he is the worst Premiership footballer I have ever seen in my life"

And he here is...

My opinion? This 32 year old non-international frenchman is a complete joke. As is our defence.