Goodbye Toon

Although I live in Retford mostly, I spend a bit of time in Newcastle with the other half of my family. But today we moved from Toon to Durham which means each match day is going to cost £4.80 more, not that cost matters on such days. The excitement of walking through Kenton to Fawdon Metro station is now a thing of the past.

The Chronicle continued to make us feel warm and fuzzy today by 'revealing' that we aren't going to sign any of our supposed targets:

"Newcastle United have rejected a plea from Sol Campbell, who has made it clear he would love the chance to come to St James' Park.
And on a weekend when United were linked with the likes of PSV midfielder Jefferson Farfan, Jonathan Woodgate, Wayne Bridge, Miroslav Klose, Jermain Defoe and Juventus's Croatian defender Robert Kovac, I can reveal that none of these players will be finding a peg in the St James' Park dressing room."

However not mentioned in our star-studded black-list is Holland striker Dirk Kuyt, who would be a welcome addition. Roeder did reveal today that Farfan is not a target of ours, but hinted that we are talking to clubs and players. Always nice to know, but where are the players?

Quotes from Luque this morning telling of his renewed confidence and fitness. Speaking to other Toon fans, I've come across a lot of 'Maybe Luque is class after all' after his recent fine finishing and Saturday's revelatory performance. All good stuff but lets hope Glenn and Fatpie don't get distracted by his backheels and concentrate more on SIGNING SOME PLAYERS.

Disgraceful.

An artist's impression of what should happen to Robbie Elliot

Having turned down a contract at Newcastle, old git (and Geordie) Robbie trained with S*nderland and subsequently played in a friendly. Not only that, he was the first player to applaud the sad mackem followers at the end of the game upon a rare victory for the colourblind felines.

I admired his effort last term, but now, as I have made apparent, I hate him. I hope they choose not to offer him a contract, then he will be stuffed.

These are words that could be used in relation to the subjects in this entry:

Diabolical, deplorable, dreadful, shocking, pitiful, pathetic, unbelievable, dismal, feeble, useless, awful, appalling, abysmal, shameful, atrocious, inexcusable.

One possible for replacement for this traitor is Sol Campbell who if rumours are to be believed, contacted SJP saying he is keen on a move to Toon.

Newcastle 2-3 PSV Eindhoven

We went 3-0 down and I for one felt a little bit miffed at that. We weren't playing superbly but neither were we playing badly. Scott Parker put in a great performance and I was left mystified when Stephen Carr picked up Man of the match. Duff, N'Zogbia, Emre and Steven Taylor all looked good, the latter seemingly picking up an injury and removed at half time. The introduction of Craig Moore did sure up our defending a bit though. The fact of the matter is, there was noone to take the chances because Shola really cannot cope upfront on his own. The arrival of Luque and Milner on the scene sparked Shola to life and he pulled one back with a header from Milner's accurate cross. Albert Luque was fantastic, he had a cracking game showing some great touches, clever passes and scoring well placed penalty for our second. The penalty decision was wrong, however we had already been denied a spot-kick three times by the frustrating referee. Overall we were unlucky to lose, with a draw possibly a fair result by the end. I left St James' in a positive mood despite the defeat.

Hopefully we will have a striker to take part in the UEFA cup game at the latest, despite Luque putting on a show thats as deep as our strike force goes and we cannot survive a UEFA Cup season with two unproven strikers. What are the bookies odds on Shearer coming out of retirement? Might be worth a bet. We also need a centre back, because Titus Bramble was the weak link in our team today.

PSV striker Arouna Koné was simply amazing, I have never seen a footballer who is so incredibly fast, but this guy was not just fast, he was so skillful on the ball. He caused all our problems and played a key role in tearing us a part for all three of their goals. He has been at PSV for one season, would he move to the Premiership? I think we should buy him just so it means we never have to play against him again.

In conclusion, our midfield is class and Albert Luque looked £10mil today, but our defence is lacking and our upfront there is nowt. So hopefully signings this week. Please.

PS: That's four goals in four games for Luque. And yes, his performances are improving... and it's a Spanish team next.

Ventspils ... pardon me

A cure for the common cold? A french defender eliminating drink? I wish. Its our UEFA cup opposition from Latvia. FK Ventspils currently lie top of the Latvian Premier League and are the only team in the league that are unbeaten since the season started in April.

News today that Damien Duff will start against PSV tomorrow. In other news, Ameobi and Luque are both fit to play, news which would be insignificant in an ideal world. Babayaro joins Owen and Dyer on the treatment table, but in less serious circumstances.

We've been linked with Marlon Harewood, Dean Ashton and Wayne Bridge today, wouldn't complain at all. Amady Faye seems set to move to Charlton according to some sources, while disturbingly Juventus want Boumsong in exchange for one of their defenders, just a rumour, but whoever this other defender is, YES PLEASE.

I'm annoyed that Canaries World subscribers get to watch the delights of N'Zogbia's testimonial effort but I don't. I am still yet to see the goal. Speaking of young Charles and over-expensive video subscriptions, I saw an interview with him today. He speaks perfect English contrary to reports last season, that he only knew the word s**t. Maybe he drove through S*nderland and found that he was locked in a constant spasm of truth for a couple of weeks while he recovered from his terrible expedition.

Looking forward to PSV tomorrow.

Owenly Dyer straights could keep Luque Duff from Debut

Absolutely no news or interesting rumours. Although there was a very disturbing suggestion in today's Sun that we wanted Juan Pablo Angel from Villa, but thankfully the move has fallen through due to Villa's funny problems.

Speaking of funny problems, mackem Chairman Niall Quinn has successfully installed himself as S*nderland manager after failing to find anyone for the job. Presumably because they are s**t.

Pictured above is Glenn Roeder preparing his team for the visit of PSV on Saturday. I am pleased to announce that my ticket arrived today and I am now staying in Newcastle ahead of the PSV, Villareal and Wigan games. I'm sat in Row A of the Johnny Hall stand middle if anyone wants to find me and say hello. Didn't think so.

Back to the repulsive subject of S*nderland, Robbie Elliot was apparently spotted training with them today. That's right, he turned down a contract from Newcastle and hopes to play for them. He is one poorly Geordie.

Norwich City 1-2 Newcastle

A goal from Norwich's Paul McVeigh wasn't enough to come back from strikes by Peter Ramage in the first half and Charles N'Zogbia in the second as Newcastle spoiled Craig Fleming's testimonial party.

I am very impressed with this win for a few reasons;

1) There was no striker in our starting line-up, and only the 65th minute appearance of reserve centre forward Carl Finnigan changed this, by which time we 2-0 up.
2) Our starting line-up was by no means our best 11, with Given, Ameobi, Emre, Luque, Babayaro, Duff and of course injured boys Dyer and Owen all left out.
3) In the second half, Roeder introduced no fewer than 7 academy products, most of which are regulars in the reserves.
4) We were away from home against a perfectly decent team on a testimonial night.
5) N'Zogbia scored a cracker.

A good night for the lads that played especially the reserves. The night did end 1 minute prematurely when torrential rain and thunder storming caused the referee to give up and call the game to an end.

The lads were wearing the new retro away kit, very nice.

Milner left feeling Duff

Our new winger Damien Duff was given the number 11 shirt today at the expense of James Milner, who reverts back to his previous number 16. It remains to be seen if the club receive or accept any offers for Milner, but hopefully for the sake of squad depth he won't leave. In my opinion he really is a quality player and a star of the future on the right wing.

Roeder named the 20 man squad for the friendly against Norwich tomorrow, this morning. The squad is:

Harper, Krul, Carr, Cave, Ramage, Bramble, Moore, Taylor, Huntington, Pattison, Solano, Parker, Milner, Butt, Faye, N'Zogbia, Gate, O'Brien, Atkin, Finnigan.

The game is likely to be chance for the fringe, reserve and needy of fitness players to prove themselves ahead of the coming season and the challenging friendlies against PSV and Villareal. It will be interesting to see if our new number 3 goalkeeper makes an appearance and how he fairs out.

Duff unveiled at SJP

Our new £5 million (not 1o as first thought) was unveiled at a press conference in St James' Park at about 2.15 this afternoon. He says his heart told him to come to Newcastle and that he hopes we can win some silverware at last! No change there. Wor Glenn also said that we are trying to bring in some more players off our list of targets, whoever is on it. This guy is surely a bargain? I wonder what his first injury will be...

Damien Duff Definitely Done Deal

And so late last night it was confirmed that Newcastle have made their first signing of the summer. Damien Duff has signed a five year contract after we paid around £10million to Chelsea for his services, because they really need the money...

The club are yet to announce Wor Damien's squad number, but he will be presented to the media as a Newcastle player on Monday afternoon. Newcastle United is now home to an amazing 13 midfielders plus 3 more players who have slotted into midfield during their time at United. Worringly that means we still only have two out and out strikers, one of which isn't due back from injury until 2007. It does appear we have a 28 man squad, but the quality available from our bench is very limited, the players ranging from promising reserves to expensive misfits.

Yesterday I watched an impressive ex-Newcastle player James Coppinger playing for Doncaster Rovers as they outplayed a rubbish Real Sociedad first team to win 1-0. I don't think even S*underland played that poorly during their entertaining downfall last season.

Lillestrøm 0-3 Newcastle

After all the worry, the thoughts of going out and starting off a disastrous season, we won quite easily. Shola Ameobi scored twice on his return to the starting line-up before Emre scored his third goal in black and white. I haven't seen any hightlights yet, but the match report suggests that Shola tapped in after N'Zogbia's freekick was parried for his first on 29 minutes. On 36 minutes Scott Parker ran down the right and crossed for Shola to tap in again. We were pretty much in control for the whole game despite Lillestrøm picking up after half time. On 90 minutes Emre scored a powerful shot from 20 yards.

So all that worry was unnecessary. However when the draw comes through for 3rd qualifying round on Friday, once again the threat of going out of Europe hangs over us. But for now, lets be relieved that Newcastle played well, scored goals and kept a clean sheet.

Also confirmed today, Damien Duff will be a Newcastle player by Monday as long as there is no problem with the medical, which Roeder doesn't expect there to be. Wor Glenn also commented that there are several more players to come and that over the next few weeks they'll be attempting to get one at a time.

Vi møtes igjen...

Today is the day that not many people care about, but the Toon Army do. News that we are signing a player with the quality of Damien Duff is very good news. Today, for the second time in 3 months, Newcastle United must win a match in order to get into Europe and you would have thought this task is a bit less stressful than the thought of beating Chelsea on the last game of the season, but it seems after last week, Newcastle once again are leaving it late.

Over the past week there have been endless video interviews from our 'confident' stars telling us that Newcastle will be the UEFA Cup come tea time today. Glenn Roeder, Peter Ramage, Titus Bramble, Steven Taylor, Celestine Babayaro, Craig Moore, Nobby Solano, Scott Parker, Nicky Butt, James Milner, Emre, Michael Owen and fitness coach Paul Winsper have all told of the squads postive attitude and confidence of progressing. Don't get me wrong, this is great in two respects. For one it is good to see the squad speaking out in positive way and for another, the 'Newcastle World' service is expensive and at the moment I feel I'm getting my money's worth!

Reports this morning saying that West Ham have discovered that we will sell Milner for £3.5 million and are ready to make a bid. With the imminent arrival of Damien Duff, it would be understandable if he chose to leave, which would also free up the number 11 shirt for Duff (the number he currently sports at Chelsea).

I have chosen not to listen to the game on Newcastle World or purchase Setanta Sports because to be honest I am too nervous. I am nervous about an Intertoto Cup game against a Norwegian team! It just shows what our beloved football club chooses to put us through, even though I believe everything will be good soon. Instead of sitting nervously in front my computer or TV, I am going to watch a pre-season friendly between Doncaster Rovers and Real Sociedad having already seen Doncaster annihilate my local team Retford 7-1 (Ex-Newcastle defender Karl Colley scoring Retford's only goal while Ex-Tooners James Coppinger and Lewis Guy appeared for the visitors).

Up the Duff?

Update : Newcastle are now officially up the Duff! Newcastle have agreed the terms and he is currently undergoing a medical!

Reports today suggesting Chelsea winger Damien Duff is on his way to St James' for about £10million. Apparently the deal will be completed today and not based on whether we make it into the UEFA cup or not! Is he mad? Still, would be a good signing though. I still think its unlikely.

The first babble

OK, here we go. One day to go until Glenn's army attempt to get us in the UEFA cup. Am I worried? Yes. Not only am I worried that no UEFA cup football this season will plunge us into a downward spiral of misfortune, I am worried that without a European adventure this campaign we will we lack the finances and the attraction necessary to bring in players capable of helping us succeed. For the last few seasons Newcastle United has been a club about to break through and become successful, but I feel that this season we have something to prove. Fans of other clubs and pundits alike are no longer predicting great things for us, we are fizzling out of the football experts' mental list of big clubs. This season is about playing good football, winning and staying disciplined. We must make some good signings, not big names, players who didn't arrive for huge fees and have less pressure on them to perform. Personally I would like to see the likes of David Nugent from Preston, Robert Huth, Steed Malbranque, all quality players who can be obtained for much less that £10 million each. I also think fat Freddy should swallow his pride and take some players on loan, the likes of Shaun Wright-Phillips, Wayne Bridge, Javier Saviola or dare I say it, Theo Walcott? My preference for a replacement to Alan Shearer would be Feyenoord's Dirk Kuyt, but it seems Liverpool are leading the race to sign him and maybe we don't have the financial firepower.

Lillestrøm. A team I expected us to beat. I didn't think it would be easy because of their superior fitness, but I thought one or two nil wouldn't have been too much to ask. However I'm not upset at the performance, the fitness and sharpness obviously played a part in our failure to win. They have the away goal so we now find ourselves at a disadvantage playing away from home, whether this pressure with spur the players on is yet to be seen. Part of me wonders whether going into the UEFA cup would be a bit of distraction like it was Middlesbrough last season, and I also remember the agony of watching our UEFA cup dream of 2004/5 slip away as Sporting Lisbon banged in the goals to complete an astonishing and truly heartbreaking come back. I am the first admit that, that night was the first time I cried at the end of a Newcastle game. And as we sank out of the FA Cup just three days later, the end of the season was just some sort of numb haze as it floated ungracefully to its insignificant close.

Maybe this season is the season that every new manager talks about, or maybe we will be confined to another 'almost' cup run and a bottom half premiership finish. Then there is Roeder's habit of taking a team to 7th place in the league and successfully relegating them the next season. Yes, it's happened twice. Third time lucky?

NUFC Jam