Owenly Dyer straights could keep Luque Duff from Debut

Absolutely no news or interesting rumours. Although there was a very disturbing suggestion in today's Sun that we wanted Juan Pablo Angel from Villa, but thankfully the move has fallen through due to Villa's funny problems.

Speaking of funny problems, mackem Chairman Niall Quinn has successfully installed himself as S*nderland manager after failing to find anyone for the job. Presumably because they are s**t.

Pictured above is Glenn Roeder preparing his team for the visit of PSV on Saturday. I am pleased to announce that my ticket arrived today and I am now staying in Newcastle ahead of the PSV, Villareal and Wigan games. I'm sat in Row A of the Johnny Hall stand middle if anyone wants to find me and say hello. Didn't think so.

Back to the repulsive subject of S*nderland, Robbie Elliot was apparently spotted training with them today. That's right, he turned down a contract from Newcastle and hopes to play for them. He is one poorly Geordie.